Embarking upon a separation can be one of the most daunting prospects in someone’s life. When you have shared your life with someone for a period or time, short or long, and may even have children together, any change can be extremely scary.
Without realising it, we can often put ourselves under a lot of stress and pressure to do the right thing. This can have a detrimental impact on our health. When feeling emotional or stressed, your body goes into fight or flight mode and releases a flood of hormones such as adrenaline or cortisol. Long term, this can be damaging to your health, ability to make balanced decisions and ultimately on your immune system.
Here are 10 positive steps you can take to help you cope with divorce or separation.
Topics to be answered in this article
1. Surround yourself with loved ones
If you are a “talker” surround yourself with friends and family that lift you up and give you mental strength. Avoid those negative people that will try and wallow with you..
2. Write in a journal
If more reserved, find other ways of expressing your feelings such as writing in a journal and take this time to remind yourself of the things you still feel grateful for such as your children or the support you have around you.
3. Maintain routine
Maintaining routine is key, particularly if you do have children.
4. Stay active
Get outdoors and feel the sun on your face (when it decides to come out!). Keeping active is really good for the mind and body.
5. Relax
Try not to sweat the small stuff and only give your time and energy to important things that you can control.
6. Express your emotions
Do not hold your emotions in, let them out, otherwise you will feel like a pressure-cooker waiting to explode. Use the network around you to express these feelings, not the children.
7. Do things for yourself
Do things that make you happy and relaxed, like Yoga or having a hot bath with a drink of your choosing.
8. Try a hobby
Take up that hobby you never felt you could do before – focus your energy on this. Instead of dwelling on the past, look to the future.
9. Be patient
Remember that things cannot always be resolved overnight as much as we want them to. You will be okay at the end of this process and, longer term, will feel far happier than you do right now.
10. Don’t rush decisions
Never make a decision in haste – if in doubt take a night to digest things and if you are really unsure, seek legal advice or advice from your positive support network.
Places to get support and help
Here are a few useful resources that may help.
A great start if you need some emotional support during early stages of a separation is Relate – find some useful guidance here – Help with separation & divorce – Counselling & Advice | Relate
If you are worried about the impact a separation might have on your children or need to pursue any welfare concerns, seek initial advice here – Divorce and separation – Cafcass – Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service
You can also find advice on supporting your child through a separation here – Support for your child – Gingerbread
If you have concerns about leaving an abusive relationship, contact this local charity Splitz – Splitz Support Service – Home
Another option to address any issues in dispute directly in order to reduce stress and cost is to attend mediation – find contact details of your local mediation service here – Find your local mediator – Family Mediation Council
How can Goughs help?
The prospect of divorce is stressful and saddening, but we are here to help ease the burden. With our help, your divorce will be as straightforward as possible and we’re here to support you through the whole process.
Our experienced Family Team can help you deal with all related matters including, finance, children and property matters. You’re not alone. Contact us today for your free 30-minute consultation with a trusted advisor.
